blogging is a painstaking chore right now given that i've only just painted my nails. i carelessly slipped my bangle up my elbow while at work yesterday, and its thanks to my brother's ingenious idea of spreading soap all over my arm that we managed to get it out. rabbit says i'm an intelligent silly girl. i'm beginning to think so.
in case you wanted to know, ray and i has reached some kind of bottleneck and we're both uninterested to work things out. me, because i'm kind of more determined to seek out the rabbit, and him (that's ray) in all his innocent optimism, has not sensed the urgency to work things out. these days, when asked about my relationship status, i'm more inclined to say, i'm on pending.
rabbit said that the unhappiness all stem from expectations, whether its expectations set too high or expectations that shouldnt be there at all. apparently, according to rabbit, we all loved unconditionally before we have expectations.
maybe that's why ray has never flared up at me yet. because he doesnt expect anything from me, like he doesnt expect me to behave myself and watch my temper in front of his friends. and i keep expecting him to flare up. and when he doesnt, it makes me feel unimportant, like he cant be bothered with me.
i set expectations because i care. i set expectations because i love you. because you're important to me.
its not about not setting expectations. its about being flexible about them. when your expectations are not met, learn to lower them, learn to set a longer time frame. you dont just give up and say, i shall not expect it from you.
we stale because we keep expecting, without readjusting to reality. we keep demanding, and we become obsessed with our demands, with our wants, our needs, our interests.
i'm going to get ready for work already. i dont want to be late.
