its a bit ridiculous, because if you happened to meet me, i'm really quite lively.
i'm definitely still upset that the asshole, who's promised to not walk away from me, still did ultimately. i'm definitely upset because it made me feel totally useless; its simply beyond my means to change him, no matter how hard i tried.
the ikan bilis flower said that i was rather indifferent to the whole situation. i seem to be under-reacting. why did i not ask him to stay when he told me he'd be leaving for good? he might have, had i asked. i think i did, i cant remember. i know i did, 2 years ago, crying and barely literate, begging for him to stay, to just hug me one last time, and he walked out, without hesitating, without stopping, without looking back; as if he didnt hear what i said, as if he didnt see my tears, as if i didnt exist.
i'm still healing. i dont think it'd take very long for me to heal.
i'll tell you the whole story when you're back, honey. the entire story. ^^
oh, by the way, i really am going to graduate afterall. its not a good news, because it means i'd have to go look for a perm job, so please, send your condolences instead of congratulations. i was honestly hoping i'd fail.
oh oh, of course i know i deserve it. i deserve to have that asshole out of my life, finally. what a load off my shoulders.
and i am acting ke lian. its my forte. maybe if i acted ke lian enough, our sister would let me see his chest hair, hor, ah fang?
