i think its fated. that on the day i've specially designated for cleaning/packing/clearing my room, the much dreaded aunt agony decided to come for her monthly visit. and so, i'm now sitting in bed, feeling lethargic and slightly uncomfortable, staring at the half mess, which is my room, and randomly surfing the net. well, at least i did clear some stuff. (finally threw away the lecture notes which were taking up a huge chunk of table space.)
i checked my blog awhile earlier and it surprised me to realize that its been a week since i last updated. to say that i've been busy with work would have been a lie given that i've spent much of my time in the last week sprawled out in bed, catching up on 命中注定我爱你.
by a stroke of serendipity, over the past few weeks, it came to my awareness that people, who i've never known very well, are reading this somewhat uninteresting little space. it suddenly struck me to think about the kind of impression my ramblings have created, and i am disgusted by how seemingly boring and shallow i've become over the course of the past year.
i've always maintained that blogging was an avenue for me to vent my frustrations, and to complain about how unfairly the world at large was treating me. at any point in my blogging history, i've been complaining about this or that. i must say that anger, annoyance, frustration and depression brought out the literary flair in me.
and since i'd all but removed the thorn in the flesh, which is me, being overtly critical of myself, it is only to be expected that i become increasingly boring. after all, i don't think anybody could possibly be interested in knowing that i've been happily munching on ruffles late at night, and mistaking carlsberg for 7-up. oh, and pocky too. i have no idea why chocolate pocky have this ability to illicit such happiness in me. ^^
well, i'm learning to appreciate the finer side of life, and not dwell unnecessarily into the little details, which more often than not, are only capable of dishing out misery. and i'd be glad to report that my little attempt at being a happier me has been successful thus far, save for that little fiasco in the last week, during when i allowed myself to be eaten by that ridiculously insecure inner voice.
so yes, i've not come to the point about how irritated i am by my own dullness. i was further fueled by the fact that i've really, really, really graduated, and my command of the language can only get progressively worse. nobody really cares about your grammatical errors and how grandiloquent your vocabulary can be. shit, i think your vocabulary starts deteriorating in university life already. (unless obviously, your a literature/language student.) you may be slightly awarded for writing eloquently, but i don't think the lecturer appreciates usage of orotund appellations.
and so, spurred on by the desire to re-establish my flailing lexis, i ridiculously spent $80 at popular, when i'm on a $10/day budget for the month. i'm really quite depressed just by the thought of it. i'm so going to eat my books for dinner now.
oh, happy 7 weeks baby. ^^
love you, muacks!
