i know, i'm devastated. i'm fucking depressed. and its so bad i've only managed to clock a total of 6 hours of sleep in the last three days. its so bad that i've only managed to force down 2 proper meals in the last 3 days. its so bad that i was trying to drink myself drunk just so i could fall asleep last night. and now i know, that 2 cans of beer (which, thankfully was all that was left), 1 packet of vitasoy and 4 bottles of yakult dont go well with an empty stomach.
but its not his fault. and i dont blame him. i dont hate him. i still carry that same infatuated regard that i have for him when we first got together. it really isnt his fault.
stop asking me what i want. i want us to be together. but most of all, i want him to be happy. and if letting go makes him happier, i dont mind being miserable for awhile. eventually, i will heal. eventually, i'll let go. now, i just want him to be happy.
there are so many questions stirring in my mind. are you happy now? have you eaten? did you have enough sleep? do you even love me anymore?
there are so many things i want to say. i'm sorry. i really dont blame you. i'm grateful for whatever memories you gave me. i miss you. i miss you so much.
i wish i could see that smile again. the smile that you always wore when you arched your eyebrow. i wish i could hear that laugh again. the laugh that i have always found fake. but i can no longer bring myself to look you in the eye. emotions stir up, tears well up when i hear that voice, which has become distant, which will never be the same again.
i'm obviously still in denial. up until now, every morsel of me clings on to that last strand of hope that somehow, things might be the same for us again. but i know, its no longer possible. 有一些事情一旦发生，就再也不可能有挽回的局面。just like i know, by saying all these now, no matter how much i still love you, no matter how much i want us to be together, i have sealed that moment into eternity.
我有千千万万个不舍。千千万万个不愿。已经太迟了吧？
心狠痛。痛死了。痛到麻了。真的要分手吗？真的分手了吧？就这样吗？
where did the love go? where did my love go? where did you go? why did it go? when did it go? why? when? what?"
this is disgusting. i'm being utterly disgusting.
leave me alone. i'll deal.
just, be happy, ok?
你还陪在我左右
还以为我们会开花结果
我还记得玫瑰色天空
却模糊了我们的脸孔
哼的歌到底是什么内容
仿佛已经自由
下一刻我变成风
吹过你的脸孔差点失控
回忆在夜里闹的很凶
我想我可以明白你所有的痛
想让你知道我多
觉得心言不由衷
我们都接受
一定是彼此不够成熟
在爱情里分不了轻重
诚实的过了头
不能退后也无法向前走
爱是一个自私的念头
把寂寞消除的理由
剩下的那些感动
能记得多久
我把你的电话从手机里消除了
我把你的消息从话题里减少了
我把你的味道用香水喷掉了
我把你的照片用全家福挡住了
你让我的懂事变成一种幼稚
你让我的骄傲觉得很无知
你让我的朋友关心我的生活
你让我的软弱陪伴你的自由
离开我 你会不会好一点
离开你 什么事都难一点
车来了 坐上你的明天
车走了 我还站在路边
离开我 你会不会好一点
离开你 什么事都难一点
风来了 云就 会少一点
你走了 我住在雨里面
