time is such an amazing thing, no?
i stared out the window in an awe-struck stupefaction; the awe probably brought on by my severe lack of sleep, no thanks to my haste in that attempt to finish up my first book of the twilight saga. (i've since embarked on the second book - new moon, in a snail pace, hoping it would last till at least when the next pay comes in. yes, the over-expenditure.)
so i was staring at the breaking dawn of a new morning, gaping at the beauty of the dark sky that is starting to show signs of the impending light. and i realized, for the millionth time, that i am, but a small part of this vast world, when the majority of our populace gets ready for their day, i turn in bed, about to end mine.
what are you doing right now? right now, as i sit upright in bed, my thoughts whirling around, hovering above my head. what are you doing right now? time is such an amazing thing. its like this universal measurement of every unique experience.
okie, i'm getting a little too abstract to be put into words. the problem with not having enough sleep, and with burying myself in the pages of one fantasy novel after another.
fleeting thoughts. random reiterations of my nondescript life. i know i ever said i hate writing in point form, but when sleep deprivation hits, and your restless mind refuses to stop churning questions, its hard to have to maintain coherence while letting off steam. so here goes,
-ah xiong, the long-lost brother asked me why is the picture of my vindictive ex, as i so call him, still on my friendster, if he is as vindictive as i say he is.
-the same long-lost brother, in response to my less-than-satisfactory answer to his above query, quoted that ah huat said i was an extremely forgiving person.
-fzy said his initials only appear on the hidden entries. which is partly true, but not quite.
-i'm worried about falling in love again. or rather, i should not say love. i definitely loved cjj, and the feeling is not quite the same. i'm worried about falling into dependence again.
-i cant seem to tear myself away from this one person these days, and he's a terribly nice person, who's taking a risk (according to sources that i now deem, unreliable) by his willingness to be my slave.
-at my weakest you appear, what if i become stronger? will you, concurrently, become obsolete? i shudder at that thought.
-i'm appalled by the speed at which random people pick up gossip-worthy information. like how the fact that i've been sitting with ks at work, and how we happen to come in together has led to speculation of a new may-december romance. very disturbing. but a little amusing at the same time.
-i'll watch madagascar for the third time this tuesday. -_-"
-i'm going to submit my application come february for the stupid masters program in ntu. its a hatching decision. so details to come when i've made up my mind.
-the call to apply came after the family meeting with dad, who demanded that i continue with my studies, instead of venturing out into the workforce, which i have been procrastinating.
-there is a high chance i'll get whisked off to australia for studies if my application to ntu is rejected. so, pray for me.
-kk thinks that a long-distance relationship is doomed to fail.
-ah huat thinks i might get a shot at the foreign love as foretold by the palmist a long time ago.
-he is devastated i may have to leave.
-i miss him.
i think the zee monster has just upped its fighting spirit. i'm now battling the level 99 version. eyes barely open. shall update again soon. hopefully with good tidings too. ^^
