Abc and I have completely opposite sleeping habits, and this, I've come to see, is inevitable, what with his working hours being a near total inversion of mine. And since I started working, we've taken to meeting when I finish work and before his starts. At 6pm on these days, I'd call to find him in bed and he'd struggle to wake, while I drag my feet to meet him, slightly wishing I could snuggle in my blankie.
And yesterday, it suddenly came to me, how tired we both were and for a split second, I considered the lack of necessity this tiredness was for.
It's not that I didn't want to meet him, because that is far from the truth. I really want to meet my bf. I really do miss him whenever he's not around. But I acknowledge my lack of and the consequential need for sleep. I cannot survive like this for long. I cannot stand my falling asleep at work. I don't like this.
And this is the kind of life I have to content myself with for the next few years. I'm scared. I'm scared we won't pull through. At times, I really feel as if we ought to find people who are going through the same phase in their lives. I think it might be better if he had someone who didn't have to wake up early and who would have as much time for him on weekdays as I did when we first got together. Likewise, for me, if my boyfriend works the office hours that I do.
But I don't want to go through the process of falling in love all over again. And I definitely don't want to fall out of love with the Smelly Pi. He has his issues, I have mine. But we've been more than willing to compromise, and to work things out. I don't think I've been this optimistic about a relationship and I don't want this to end.
And yet, how long can this makeshift compromise last, and as far as I can tell, more thorns are going to pop out along the way. :(
I'm scared. And I'm tired. And I'm yawning and wishing for the time to come when I can flop down in bed.
And I'm pissed because the bf doesn't let me snap as many pictures as I want to. What's the use of having a camera when I can't take picture? :(
I have a smashing new toy that I'm not allowed to play with.
And I want the iPad, however ridiculous the name is. I want the iPad.
-- Post From My PrettyP.
