Sigh. CNY has been boring ever since we stopped going Malaysia, not that I liked it in the first place, but at least there were something to look forward to. For some reason, I've never been able to get along with my cousins very well. Other than the standard pleasantries, I rarely speak to them. I kind of think it's all a-less-than-impeccable play of charades. Maybe that's why mummy stopped going back. That said, I must say, some of my cousins are really nice people. :)
This year is nothing spectacular, as usual. Apart from the ang baos, I've got to admit I don't like it too much when mummy's friends and colleagues come visiting. Instantaneously, the house becomes a smoke hole. Spoiled as I am, I cannot stand the smell of cigarettes, and I certainly don't appreciate having my hair smell like a stale ashtray the entire day, even after shampooing. :(
Baby very generously invited me to go visiting with him next year. Hmmm. Let's see about that. :)
And V Day. I don't remember the last time I actually celebrated V Day. I know, I always say, 'with the right person, everyday can be V Day. But really, it's kind of like a loserish excuse for people who don't celebrate. As time goes by, it's really quite sad when you have nothing memorable to remember by on V Day.
Last year, I ran away to BKK, which counts towards being one of my worst holidays (the other one is obviously Taiwan, because I did nothing, and went nowhere). V Day was spent melting in Chaktuchak, where the blistering hot sun burned away any mood I had for shopping, not that there were alot of things I would have bought.
The year before last, I think I spent it leveling in WOW. See, even Ray, sweet as he was, didn't do anything nice for me on V Day. Similarly, I think that was how we spent the previous one. :(
Oh, I do have the ugly bear that LCS gave me on 2006's V Day. Something he grabbed from a pushcart at NUS before meeting me. Well, as much as it's the thought that counts, I wonder how much thought actually went in to mindlessly grabbing an ugly bear from a pushcart conveniently along the way.
Sigh. I've begun to subscribe to the very commercialized notion of V Day and such. As much as I hope everyday can be worthy of an occasion, it still is completely sickening to not have that memory to indulge in. :(
Still, I guess I'm really glad baby could make it over at all, given that it was, afterall, the first day of the CNY. This year's disappointment ought to be easier to swallow given that even florists and restaurants have also reported a marked dip in their V Day sales. :)
People rarely become their partners' perfect bf or gf. There are lapses in the relationship, when my ability to be patient and understanding falls out of reach. I know I try, even though there have been times aplenty when I feel like I haven't tried hard enough.
Quarrelled with baby the other day. The core of the issue is something we can't run away from. Something I know I need to learn to deal with. I know that baby loves me, I can see the effort that he puts in, the changes he has effected, the little sacrifices along the way.
People often say, it hasn't been easy for them, and I'm more than thankful that it has been relatively smooth-sailing for us. I always question him on his past relationships because he has maintained that right from the start, they have been marred with quarrels and misunderstandings. And I'm worried, because we rarely quarrel, can we overcome it, when we do?
Baby, I know I've been really grouchy and impatient lately. And I guess I'm not the nicest person to be around with these days. I know you love me, and you've given alot in loving me. I love you too. I hope I really learn to accept our disparities. Let's be in love for a long, long time. :)
-- Post From My PrettyP.
